You will agree with me that before we get an issue to resolve definately there has been a conflict. Or let me say its due to a conflict.
There is conflict in all relationships. And by “conflict,” we specifically mean verbal disagreements and arguments. People disagree and that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, you have the right to a different opinion from your partner.
In a healthy relationship, communication is key.
When you communicate effectively, you understand your partner better and make your relationship stronger.
When you can resolve conflicts or difficult issues successfully, you are developing a healthy, mature relationship. A conflict with your partner can make you feel attacked or threatened, vulnerable and weak, and this can make you recoil and retreat.
When things your partner does upsets you and you feel that you’re under siege or maltreated you’re less likely to respond constructively or use the silent treatment. AND SILENT TREATMENT ultimately, do more harm than good. This will eventually cause your relationship to break down completely.
So when difficult issues spurt up. Break the pattern of hostility and give the conflict positive energy. Don’t get defensive; don’t hammer your point; don’t try to win. Difficult issues most time are opportunities for you and your partners to align on values and outcomes.
They are chances to understand, appreciate, and embrace differences. Put yourself in your partner’s place and make an effort to understand his or her experience. These experiences and emotions can be uncomfortable, but if we always opt for comfort or not selfless, then we can never grow.
While conflict is normal, it can also be a sign that parts of your relationship aren’t working. If your conflict or settlement of difficult issues is based on which movie to see, or things not healthy or that doesn’t make sense.. then there are lot to sit back and discuss.
There’s a gulf between dating and marriage. While dating you can go to your house and not call your lovers for days depending.. but in marriage you live with them so, you cant just escape hitting some discussion which might go down well or the other way round.The problem/conflict at times is not really the issue. It’s the patience and maturity that the situation on ground will require from us.
Your partner might be this deadlocked person.. they won’t sha want to listen or bend…
But if you want a good healthy relationship here are some tips to help you so offence won’t pile up in your mind.
- When trying to resolve issues with your partner.. Start with a question and not blast them.Giving your partner the benefit to explain themselves can help resolve the matter quickly. Don’t be sarcastic in your own tone. When you do, women / ladies pay attention to this wella😫
- In resolving difficult issues with spouse. You need to humble yourself.. this involves both parties, you may be right or wrong. Try and let the emotion that will guide you be humility and not anger or pain. Let us learn this..
- Also try to separate the issue from the person. Let me break it down.. You don’t attack personality of your partner, like saying I know that’s how you choleric behave.. bla bla.Don’t say you’re too stubborn , but say babe I think you need to listen to my own concern and part. Winks😌.We are all guilty of this act.. especially when we re angry.. let us change the change.
- Also has an individual be willing to shift ground.. Men got lot of work to do here..Sometimes it’s just because you have it your way that you’re having it difficult this time. Do it for the family not for your own personal happiness alone..Some ladies will tell you, I just want to pepper him, he should sha be begging me.. 😂Put your drama, ego and status In the line abeg
- In RESOLVING issues. Don’t make reference to past issues. Ladies are more guilty here, you did this too last year oct/22/2019. That’s witchcraft. Let the past be the past, adress the issue on ground with faith that progress is certain at the end.
- This is also very important..Choosing the perfect time, location and even time to discuss the matter is expedient.
- Don’t be brash or harsh. Talk to your partner like a boss. It’s your co- boss you’re about to talk to and not anyhow person and not your subject. If you talk down at your partner as a human being, they might want to stand and defend themselves .So watch it.
- Befriend your partner even in the midst of difficult issues.. that individual you deem fit you wanna be with. Where is the sweetness and euphoria of those dates you just met. Ignite this in your conversation, it help outs, bring back those erotic memories..
- When resolving issues with your spouse.. State clearly your aim. Don’t just start talking. Call them by their pet names. Honey, I want us to resolve this issue, so that it doesn’t affect the family, relationship and our happiness and peace of mind. You will agree with me, most of our parents dont talk like this. That’s why we re in relationship or married in this century so that we can learn the latest languages. So please use them.
- For married individuals kiss and touch your partner.. to the unmarried, hugging is permitted 😉.The end of a matter is better than the beginning. Please just shut the door and play some loud music that will reset the brain and alleviate grievance. Just to have a peace of mind.. try and resolve that conflicts, but when issues remain unresolved seek help from counsellor if need be..
One of the keys to a happy marriage is not to find the right person but to do the right thing. If you do what is right for the relationship, the marriage will work. If you do what is wrong, it goes wrong.
There is no perfect Human anywhere in the world…. Choose your demon wisely
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